Review: Onaho no Ahosuta-san

Product: Onaho no Ahosuta-san (おなほのあほすたさん)
Manufacturer: A-One Tokyo
Measurements: length – 12.5cm, weight – 330g
Retailers: Otona-Sekai / Japanese Love Toys ( lmao $90?!) / Kanojo Toys*

– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links

In what felt like shoulder-barging my way into a secret tomb just to finally ram my penis into an ancient artifact, I actually wasn’t intending on reviewing this one. Nothing too deep (aside from said ramming of thy cockith) for the reasoning, just mostly for the exact same way I wouldn’t bother reviewing the Holy Grail – I simply assumed nobody else would be able to easily track this item down.

That and shooting a load into the Holy Grail would technically and religiously turn it into the cum chalice, and I do not wish to evoke the wrath of stealing YandereDev’s only claim to fame.

See, Onaho no Ahosuta-san is an oooold onahole. But not really? Like mid-2018? Pfftt, not even that old. I have led you astray with the exact same paragraph. The important thing is it’s no longer in production, and only a small handful of retailers have copies left.

Personally I bought this in late 2018, and for whatever reason it’s just sat around gathering dust on its nice shrink-wrapped box. Dunno why, guess I just kept prioritising onaholes I’d been sent by companies to review. At one point I was considering giving it away in a competition, but was a bit worried if it was a dud – or maybe if it’d melted over time or something.

You never know.

Anyway I unboxed it the other day in a frenzied bout of extreme horny™ just to wank into something different, so here’s a quickie (??)

– Unboxing / Presentation – 

So obviously what initially got my attention here was the cheap price box art itself. It’s striking as fuck, and got me in the mood to strike… my dick… for fuck? Good. Absolute wordsmith. But yeah, just like absolutely everything outside of generic lookin’ dick tubes, onaholes modeled on plump plus-size bodies are absurdly rare.

Onaho no Ahosuta-san has the added bonus of actually being based on Ahosuta-san – a hentai artist who drew herself for this very onahole packaging – and that’s surely something you couldn’t ever say for any other industry. Probably? I don’t know.

Imagine if Colonel Sanders made a hamburger about himself. Just clumps of crusty chicken in the shape of his face. I’d pee a little I reckon.

Here she is with the onahole itself! That’s some Inception kind of shit hey. You know, the movie starring Leonado DiCaprio about the big boat that sank.

Now you might be asking, “Infernal, does it come pre-wet? This feature concerns me” To which I would reply with an abrupt burp – the sort that would offend the elderly – and then play it off with a thoughtful bit of Encarta ’95 trivia that no, Onaho no Ahosuta-san is perfectly dry. I just recently masturbated with it before taking these photos and needed to wash the poor thing.

(Also my phone’s camera focuses on it better this way).

The detail is absolutely fantastic though, especially considering its smaller size and budget price point.

The material is on the squishier side, and I was pleasantly surprised that there’s no burnt rubber smell to it. A-One’s cheaper products tend to fuckin’ reek – even without being in storage for almost two years – but this was all good.

Onaho no Ahosuta-san also features an enlarged clitoris, which I mean… sure. Okay. It serves zero purpose but that’s cool.

Wow! Probably don’t do this hey.

– Feeling –

Look honestly, the best way to describe Onaho no Ahosuta-san is somewhere along the lines of ‘perfectly fine’. I realise that’s as punch-worthy as a game review claiming shit’s a ‘mixed bag’, but the tunnel design does absolutely nothing special and it’s fairly limited. As far as an onahole goes this is really about as generic as you can possibly get.

Still, there’s just enough stimulation on offer to deliver a surprisingly comfy slow-burn toss. As soon as you enter you’ll be hugged by ribbed walls latching around your head and these quickly move to your shaft. That’s about it.

Even then, probably keep expectations low given that the actual tunnel length runs at about three and a half inches.

Some generously strong and flexible material means you’ll be able to stretch this thing to absolute hell and back, but that doesn’t result in much given that you’ll merely be warping the limited goods on offer.

I think my time best spent with Onaho no Ahosuta-san was just focusing on my head with a frenzied mess of quick death-grip strokes followed by lengthy, lazy tugs stretching as far as I could go.

There’s an open end chamber which allows for some comfy cums, and I genuinely did have some pretty wild orgasms with this one. Quite a few there where I could see the tip punching out slightly to my loads, and that’s always a bizarre sense of satisfaction when it comes to fucking a chunk of rubber crushed skin-tight against your shaft.

The power of edging, I suppose.

I’m somewhat confident in claiming the main reason you’d be keen on this particular onahole is due to its external design, and yeah. It’s fun. You can totally rest your thumb on the belly while going at it, or mess around with those generously sized tits.

There’s a real nice amount of padding here, which is great for those final few pumps when you’re on the verge of cumming and tighten your grip to pure rigor mortis style. Love that cartoon series by the way. Did you see the episode where mortis turned himself into a pickl-

– Cleaning –

As is the case with most cheaper onaholes, Onaho no Ahosuta-san can safely be flipped completely inside-out for cleaning purposes. Don’t even worry about it hey. Massive durability in this sense makes for ultra easy maintenance.

I’ve had some miiiinor tearing around the entrance, but nothing serious.

The very end zone is supposedly textured like a .ω. mascot, but I genuinely couldn’t see it on mine so who knows. =x

– Summary –

Onaho no Ahosuta-san is a perfectly decent onahole with a big belly, big tits and a weirdly big clitoris. That said, the overall size is on the smaller side of things. It does a good job of stimulating what it can though.

I’d say it could safely stretch to accommodate up to like seven inches or so, but you’d be picking this one up mostly for the form factor. Cheap and alright. Currently $18 USD at Kanojo and likely won’t be around for much longer.

(Please note I’ve included ‘Japanese Love Toys’ in the retailer list – a website aimed at the Australian market – but mostly for a laugh. They’re also one of the only sites who still stock this, but please do not buy this from them for a disgusting $90 AUD).

Also I didn’t feel like shaving lately, sry 😢:

Onaho no Ahosuta-san

+ Cool concept that lives up to its visual appeal! System SHOCK GIGAMAX 16-BIT HYPER FX
+ Solid durability given its smaller size
+ Steady basic level of stimulation
+ Really easy to clean

– The tunnel is smaller than a typical onahole
– Out of production so not many retailers stock it anymore
– Novelty clown shoe-sized clitoris isn’t strong enough to let you swing the onahole around with

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