Review: Umi No Ana #2 Carnivorous Mermaid

Product: Umi No Ana #2 Carnivorous Mermaid (うみのあな#2 肉食系マーメイド)
Manufacturer: DNA Japan
Measurements: length – 16.8cm, weight – 360g
Retailers: otonaJP* / Kanojo Toys*

– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links

A vague, generic meeting room falls into an almost constipated level of frustrated silence as the boss awkwardly swivels into position – “GARY” he yells, still flailing his stumpy legs in a hopeless attempt to stop the chair from facing the wrong way. “WHAT HAVE YOU GOT FOR US?”

Of course, there’s nobody even named Gary present, but Steve immediately stiffens up. Everyone knows Gary is code for Steve in this company.

“I, uh”

Gary-Steve violently shuffles his papers with one hand and his crotch with the other. He’s been given the honour of pitching a new toy idea, and the company is in desperate need of a new hit with the holiday season fast approaching.

“Alright” Steve squeaks, “I’ve put a lot of thou-”

“GET ON WITH IT, GARY”

Fuck, shit. Steve nervously drops everything – one testicle in particular hitting the floor like a sack of flour.

“Okay, hear me out here. How about…”

A near-death peak of anticipation sweeps the room as everyone else slumps over with their best ragdoll physics to preserve energy.

“… Anime… Shark…”

Steve notices his boss is now gripping onto the table with all eleven fingers; a faint glint of humanity in his eyes. This is it – the perfect chance to pitch his ultimate idea. He purses his lips in an extreme fashion before unleashing the final element to this company-saving concept.

“…. PUSSY”, he proclaims.

It booms from his mouth with all the reverb of a Super Nintendo sound chip. “PUSSY”.

Oh no. Everyone else in the room attempts to cover their ears, but it’s too late. This one simple suggestion distorts reality itself, sending shock-waves down the entire building. Time slows to a crawl as “anime shark PUSSY” continues to grow louder with each echo.

“Anime shark PUSSY…”

Windows shatter, cracks splinter around the floor and bowels rumble uncomfortably in search of a toilet.

Suddenly, it’s over.

Steve’s boss momentarily reclaims his composure after being belted within the wall itself.

“GARY” he yells, coughing up a small Moai head followed by a rather large Vic Viper. “Anime shark pussy?! Fantastic! You’re fucking fired, get the fuck out of here you stupid dickhead holy shit”.

Steve is immediately thrown out the meeting room’s window; luckily breaking his fall on someone else’s car a mere seventeen floors below.

Leaving the parking lot of Mattel with a severe loss of blood and dignity, Steve would then go on to pitch the idea for his ANIME SHARK PUSSY to a toy company more receptive to such a concept.

This is Umi No Ana #2 Carnivorous Mermaid from DNA Japan.

It’s really just that; ANIME SHARK PUSSY in onahole form. Or rather, a mermaid. I guess. A shark mermaid? Finally! There are two to choose from, but pffftt – as if you wouldn’t go for the one with abs.

(The first one also uses softer material and has a more gentle, repetitive tunnel design).

So yeah, Umi No Ana #2 Carnivorous Mermaid is gonna be a pretty wild ride. Everything from the box art itself to several warnings kinda let you know DNA’s not messin’ around with this onahole. They’re specifically targeting folks looking for something incredibly hard.

– Unboxing / Presentation – 

I was gonna kinda bitch about how DNA Japan doesn’t include even a single drop of lube with this, but apparently they do! Guess I was just unlucky as mine didn’t include the lube packet. Oh well, it happens.

Gettin’ ya grubby fingers all over, the onahole itself immediately feels sturdy as absolute hell despite a larger than usual size, and it’s a nice semi-transparent blue which is cool.

If you get it in the exact right light so that the people in the apartment blocks over the road can see you holding something you’ve cum inside, you’ll surely be able to appreciate these inner details.

Really though, it’s pretty hard to get a good view inside unless you’re wanking directly under the sun or whatever, but this is still a nice design. Absolutely no cheap smell to the material either. DNA’s done their homework here – Umi No Ana #2 Carnivorous Mermaid looks and feels like you’ve just bought a premium ocean-blue bomb shelter for your cock.

– Feeling –

Man, Umi No Ana #2 Carnivorous Mermaid is tough. Not even playing around, this onahole is probably one of the hardest and most difficult tubes of death currently on the market. You absolutely need to be prepared for this one before diving in.

The entry point alone is almost violent in its design – slightly sunken in and completely unwilling to expand across your head until you find yourself suddenly sucked right through. Make sure to purposely spread some lube around the opening itself or at least smear some over your head.

This part reminds me a lot of the R-20 Third which I only just recently covered, but thankfully here it’s just somehow more forgiving. A challenging opening for sure, but manageable.

Once you’ve popped inside Umi No Ana #2 Carnivorous Mermaid, the tunnel barely even appears to react around your shaft. Instead it just locks straight around with an overwhelming sense of pressure, slowly crushing away at your head and beyond.

At first there’s a noticeable jolt, giving the impression you’ve really just been entangled with little chance of escape outside of playing dead/going flaccid.

This material is straight up solid and won’t even begin to give way until a few good strokes in. The absolute death-grip squeezing into your shaft alone is absurd. Doesn’t even seem to matter how much lube you flood the tunnel with, those first handful of thrusts are an endurance test.

If you’re not 110% hard going in, good luck. There are times when I’m partial to jumping into an onahole half-mast and swellin’ up inside, but this’ll just annihilate you for doing so.

That said, after getting into the swing of things this onahole fucking rules.

It starts off with a thick cluster of gel-like nubs grinding into your cock before quickly moving into an absolute crush-zone. The tunnel condenses in size something shocking after you think you’ve just gotten used to it, delivering an enormous amount of suffocating stimulation down the length of your shaft.

On top of that, each yank back out results in at least two massive bursts of pleasure slamming under your head. What starts off as a somewhat uncomfortable push forward quickly mutates into a relentless combination of pleasure.

There’s really no safe point within Umi No Ana #2 Carnivorous Mermaid to take a breather, so it’s best to keep awwwwn pumpin’ away.

Smashing into the end point, you’ll find even larger chunks than before – rugged in design – meant to dig deep into the tender points of your head. This is combined with a few heavy ridges. It’s the kinda sensation that’ll make your toes curl and your arse cheeks clench. Like a little hoedown.

Some pretty wild pressure tends to build up in here too (as if the tunnel wasn’t already tight enough), and this sometimes means you’ll hear a little squelchy ‘pop’ while cumming. I dunno how else to even explain it, but it’s kinda funny and satisfying at the same time.

On that note, the onahole can make quite a bit of noise during use, so watch out if you’re trying to have a stealth wank.

But yeah, at best/worst, striking up against the end wall might simply be too much. Your dick takes a pretty heaving beating along the way, and at least twice there I found myself just fuckin’ pumping a load out of sheer defeat.

Which is okay! Objective complete hey, time for sleep.

This was very difficult to translate, but I reckon I got the gist of it.

– Cleaning –

Umi No Ana #2 Carnivorous Mermaid even manages to put up a fight during the cleaning process, except this time it’s not an appealing feature in the slightest. Flushing everything out can be a real pain at first, but over time you’ll find the tunnel easier to deal with as it begins to slowly stretch and give way. The first few washes just straight up suck though.

Aside from that, long term durability with this onahole is pretty amazing. The material is incredibly strong and deals with a heap of shit, so you’re looking at something that’ll definitely last a long time. Especially impressive considering the $30-ish USD price point.

– Summary –

If you’re after something challenging to test the absolute bloody limits of what your erection can endure, Umi No Ana #2 Carnivorous Mermaid is a peak recommendation right now. This onahole is unforgivingly tight and delivers near-constant levels of high stimulation abuse.

When you get swept up in the moment it can be an absolute head-spinner that desperately wants to milk every last drop out of you ASAP. If you’ve got the endurance you’re in for some absolute god-tier bliss, but don’t worry if you end up in a weird deflated mess without warning.

Umi No Ana #2 Carnivorous Mermaid is purposely designed to just fuckin’ annihilate anything within range. Think of it as the onahole equivalent of shoving your dick inside an actual shark’s mouth.

No wait, maybe don’t! I dunno. Haha, big cums.

Umi No Ana #2 Carnivorous Mermaid

+ Incredibly sturdy design that might just shield your penis from whatever else 2020 has up its sleeve
+ Relentless stimulation, tight and brutal tunnel
+ Good value for money
+ Wow, a blue car onahole!

– Requires a LOT from your dick and can wear you down fast
– Gets a tad loud with sloppy noises, might be difficult to hide the fact you’re fucking an anime shark pussy if you live with others
– Frustrating to clean the first few times

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