Product: Real Body 3D – Maria=Nardahl (リアルボディ+3Dボーンシステム 魔性のやわちち マリア=ノルダール)
Manufacturer: SSI Japan / WILDONE
Measurements: length – 43cm, weight – 7kg (15lbs)
Retailers: Motsu Toys* / Kanojo Toys* / otonaJP*
– This product was provided by Motsu Toys* for masturbation review purposes
– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links
The dull buzzing of a weathered street light begins to fade out of existence as you fulfil your usual Friday night tradition; venturing forth into the forbidden forest.
Located directly behind the town’s worst and only budget spaghetti restaurant – Pete’s Hamburger House – you’ve been making this exact same weekly trek for years now.
But why? Everyone from friends, family and even non-world-famous chef Pete have practically begged for an answer, but you push them over in response every time. “I’m sorry” you say, “I can only tell people who haven’t recently been shoved to the ground”.
See, legend has it a witch lives in these woods. Should someone be the first to find her, they’ll be graced by her big ol’ sweaty witch tits. Nothing more, nothing less. You have to see them. You need to witness the mystical breasts.
It is crucial.
Stumbling through an open area down an all too familiar path, a man suddenly appears from behind a rock. Panic. Your initial instinct is to shove him over, but as the moonlight glints off his sports jacket you question… i-is that… is that Todd Howard?!
He stares at you with a piercing look of determination. “You’re here to meet the witch, right kiddo?”
Oh no, oh fuck.
“Sorry, but you’re about nine years too late”, Todd smugly chuckles. “She showed me her boobs, and they were glorious. Really nice. I told her they were cool”.
You frown, clenching your fists deep within your pockets. The emergency spaghetti held within gets smooshed between your fingers. Years wasted.
“But wait, why are you uh… still here, Todd?” You ask.
Todd motions towards the giant anime box in his hand, “I had the team at Bethesda make a mini-replica of her body. Or well, most of it at least. Some of it. Several limbs are still planned for DLC”.
Your frown remains bullet-proof. “That doesn’t explain anything though, like why are you still just fuckin’ hanging around here after all these years?”
Todd smiles, “am I?”
He immediately glitches through the ground, sending several trees hurtling into the atmosphere as his last line of dialogue repeats at an alarming rate. You begin to cover your ears to shield the impact of mass layered-noise. The world around you struggles to maintain a consistent speed as your vision blurs.
Suddenly you wake up in your own bed the next morning, drenched in a cold sweat. Was it all a dream? You attempt to get out of bed only to knock something heavy to the floor.
No…
It’s the very same box Todd was holding. ‘Real Body 3D – Maria=Nardahl’ it reads. With a trembling hand you open it up, only to discover… a copy of Skyrim nestled within. Your wallet is also missing $60.
Absolute fury.
He can’t keep getting away with this.
Big ol’ sweaty witch tits!
Luckily for everyone else, the vast majority of Real Body 3D – Maria=Nardahl boxes should contain the proper product itself, and boy, SSI Japan’s made an absolute stunner.
Oh yeah, this thing does actually have a story to it going by SSI Japan’s website. Something along the lines of being lured to a witch’s mansion by her ‘seductive scent’, where she basically ends up fucking you to death. Very good! I don’t think you have to worry about the death part here though.
Maybe.
– Unboxing / Presentation –
Unfortunately the box got pretty banged up (presumably by Australian customs, who held onto it for like two weeks and then slapped a sticker on top saying it was ‘inspected’ – likely with some penises). To make matters worse my flatmate’s dog chewed up the corner. This is a very specific combination of events, so don’t worry.
But yeah, the packaging artwork is incredible.
It also includes a little sheet of info in Japanese, but the pictures get the point across. SSI doesn’t recommend twisting this torso or harshly bending its back (there’s a faux-bone system lining the inside which could break).
No free lube though, which is… a bit stingy. Always seems to be the most expensive onaholes that never include even a single sample pack of lube. Ah well. Then again I’m thankful in this instance, since it probably would have bloody exploded.
Real Body 3D – Maria=Nardahl measures in 43cm in total length and weighs 7kg. I don’t have a lot of experience with torso onaholes, but physically I’d say this is about in the mid-range? It’s considerably bigger than say, the Puni Ana SPDX but smaller than the amazing – but sadly discontinued – KYO Torso.
Here’s a very scientific size comparison with the Sujiman Kupa Lolinco Extra Virgin and a war hero.
There’s VERY heavy smell when you initially free the product from its wrapping, akin to a car doing fully sick burnouts in your nostrils. Luckily this faded pretty quick, but you might wanna step back at first.
TIME…
… FOR SEX
Nah but the breasts feel really nice. Soft and plump, with a slight amount of bounce to them in action. That sentence could probably be describing a lot of things now that I think about it.
They’re surpringly not as big as I expected though. I tried rubbing my cock between them, but the tits are a bit too small and a biiiit too firm for that. Still fun to play with; cupping them while fucking is a good time for everyone involved.
There are certainly other Real Body 3D models with considerably larger breasts if that’s what you’re after (the Ana Kiljan* or the upcoming Pai Kanon Kitaoji* for example).
SSI’s material in general has a wonderful silky smooth feel. There’s a good amount of squish no matter where your hands are flopping around at.
Something about the collarbone detail gets me going too. I have no idea why. Collarbones on real people? Don’t care. Collarbones on sex toys? OOOOOOHHHH HERE COMES THE CUM.
The two entry points don’t exactly go all out with detail, but they’re nice enough. I like that the anus has some trademark puckering.
I tried to take some photos of the hole stretched open so you could see some detail, but this is remarkably difficult to do one-handed. Instead it just looked like I was about to go bowling.
– Feeling – (Vaginal)
Let’s tackle this vagina first I guess – and for the most part I used this laying down in bed (or sittin’ down) and bouncing it on my dick. Lazy style yo.
At 7kg I found this more than manageable, plus it delivered the full impact slapping on my crotch. The good thing about these larger torso onaholes is that you can experiment with a range of positions and find whatever you’re most comfortable with.
Haha no, penis is hiding.
So the opening itself is comfy as hell. There’s an immediate level of pressure as the lips expand over your cock, but you’ll get swallowed up so fast that any initial sense of ‘it’s too tight oh no’ instantly vanishes. Real Body 3D – Maria=Nardahl tends to pull you right in and does its best to keep you balls deep.
The tunnel starts off with a slew of chunky bumps, before bending slightly into a new area full of smaller jagged dots. This is the choke point essentially – offering a tight, aggressive grind down your shaft with each thrust. The textures aren’t too hardcore, but this section delivers a huge burst of stimulation every time.
This sensation of fighting to push through is wildly enhanced (and entirely made possible) by the giant tooth-lookin’ bone system SSI use in their Real Body 3D onaholes. The mid-point of the vagina is where these tunnel walls are firmly held in place by it.
The end result is a hopelessly addictive crush which somehow never gets too overwhelming. The soft insides are thickly padded to cushion any real danger of your cock being Akira’d to death.
From there you’ll reach towards the larger end zone, and it’s here you’ll meet some thicker nubs mixed with a fucking intense vacuum chamber. Again, this thing really locks you down to the base.
Freely cumming deep inside is so good man, holy shit. That moment when you feel your cock swell – putting a final added level of pressure around your shaft – right before pumping a load into the witch-abyss. Chef kiss/10.
– Feeling – (Anal)
With the entry point itself being considerably smaller and the tunnel running more narrow and compact, Real Body 3D – Maria=Nardahl actually does a bloody great job here. It probably helps that I’ve really been getting the HORNY™ for fucking some arse lately.
A few times I’ve solely used the butt with the torso flopped face down, me awkwardly sorta pressing on top as I slowly thrust away.
The tunnel is mostly ribbed in design, with the mid-point adding some raised bumps to massage your head. The whole thing is tighter and shorter than the vagina, but lacking its varied textures. It’s more of a slow burn.
Ideally you’ll be swapping between the two holes mid-fuck anyway.
– Cleaning –
Well I mean, cleaning something like this is never gonna be as easy as a handheld onahole. If you’re lucky (?) you might be able to wedge it into your sink and cram its holes directly under the tap. Otherwise taking it into the shower could be your best bet.
The tunnels themselves are thankfully easy enough to flush out, no different from a standard onahole in that regard.
Just a bit of an awkward beast to lug around. Especially if you live in shared accommodation like I do and you never know who the fuck your flatmate has randomly invited over, then you suddenly lumber out dragging a tiny rubber corpse dripping in cum. Good.
– Summary –
Real Body 3D – Maria=Nardahl is a fantastic torso which makes the effort to offer two vastly different feeling holes so you can rapidly switch between them like a crazed maniac playing Whac-A-Mole with your cock.
The vagina packs a lot of variety and stimulation, while the butt goes for a tighter, more strangling experience. The rock solid bone-like filling helps bring it all together.
I do wish the breasts were a bit bigger though, given the character art goes for giga witch tits that the product itself doesn’t match. Oh well. They likely did the best they could with the overall product size I suppose.
Real Body 3D – Maria=Nardahl
+ Both holes offer a solid mix of stimulation and tightness, with the vaginal tunnel offering more variety while the anal tunnel goes for a more narrow grip
+ Bone-like structure keeps the walls firmly in place, further enhancing how tight it feels
+ Despite all this it still remains pretty easy-going
– Cleaning this witch can be a bitch
– Price seems a bit up there all things considered
– Not compatible with Skyrim
Hey, thanks for reading! Feel free to follow me on Twitter for more onahole stuff. Or if you’re feeling extra generous, please consider donating to my PayPal. I’d greatly appreciate it. Your support keeps my penis alive (inside new and interesting onaholes!)
This review product was provided by Motsu Toys*. Thanks again! (Really, thanks guys, sorry this review took such an insane amount of time <3)
That scene in Akira gave me nightmares as a child
That and the giant teddy bear bleeding milk D:
Our parents didn;’t give a shit and bought us whatever, a 9 year old should not get to watch that ever, haha.
its not oct 1 yet
It’s been October 1st for almost 12 hours now :’)
>Not compatible with Skyrim
Yet.
Can I just say I’ve lurked this blog for literal years now just for the opening stories?
I disagree with the not compatible with skyrim bit.
Since Skyrim supports VR and there are tons of mods out there you can easily mod in a witch, fuck her in VR while having this onahole lumped on your desk and you bang that.
Thats all the support you really need right?
Haha, you got me there!
Please do a review of kanon when it comes out. Been eyeing it since sep when it was announce. But it is always out of stock.
Bought this as my second ona after reading your review, so I must thank you: I regret nothing!
The skin is REALLY smooth, the whole body is pure perfection and both holes are a lot of fun.
Imho, as a onanoob, the torso experience is just on another level, compared to a simple hole: I spend a lot of time in foreplay, just caressing it; and you can really change positions. Feeling her ass slapping against your hips is an amazing feeling.
At night, it even becomes a “comfort toy”, that you can hold against your body, and play with her perfect ass and boobs, hips and back. Most of the time, I finish fingering her and that leads to round two ^^
As mentioned in the article, the cleaning takes time, but can be greatly eased with absorption sticks.
Thanks for the great revue, and the “lazy style” tip: it’s definitely the way to go!
Take care!
“No free lube though”
They probably figure that if you’re buying something that expensive, you already have plenty of lube.
Hey, I love the site! Your creativity and humor really amuse me, and I read a bunch of the reviews. But this is the one that really caught my eye, and it made me want to get one of these torsos! I spent the last day doing a bunch of research on these things and I’m amazed at how high-tech they’re becoming, especially the Puni Anas and these Real Body ones. At first I was tempted to try the SPDX, but I read about other people running into the same kind of durability issues that you did, so I think I may put that off for a later purchase. I want to get really awesome one though! Just reading about the Real Body ones and looking at pictures and videos of them has been a huge turn-on on its own, so I can’t imagine how fun they must be to actually play with!
Since this particular slutty witch is backordered into Oblivion, I spent a lot of time exploring and comparing all the others, and I think I’ve narrowed it down to either Anya, Yura, Momo or Hina. Or Rio…! It’s so damn hard to choose! Rio doesn’t have the dual-layered holes the other newer girls have, and a lot of people say she’s loose, but she seems to be incredibly popular with Japanese the buyers anyway, and her newer version has the same advanced body structure as the other newer models. And she’s light! I mean, relatively. Yura and Momo are both 11kgs, which to me seems almost impossible to do anything but stationary play with. I want something I can bounce on my lap while sitting at the computer, ya know? Honestly I am leaning toward Hina right now, because she’s wonderfully lolicious and is also light, but I’m wondering if her tiny dual-layered holes will crush my cock. Both of her entrances look quite small, and I saw a Japanese guy saying that she was really tight. I’m about normal length but pretty wide, so I wonder if she’d work for me. I don’t wanna spend this much money on something I can’t fuck the hell out of, after all!
But anyway, since you’re a sage of onaholes, I wanted to consult you more generally about these large sized ones. Do you find the cleaning too much of a hassle to use them regularly? How often have you fucked the witch? I noticed your top 10 list is mostly smaller onaholes, and I have seen a lot of people complain about cleaning these. Do you think it’s possible to develop a fairly quick and efficient process in the bathtub, enough so that you wouldn’t mind doing it regularly? Apparently these dual-layered girls also have particularly difficult-to-clean holes, since the entrances are tighter.
I guess you have to make compromises between ease of use and size/sophistication with these things, but I sure am tempted to plunge in with one of the more sophisticated ones anyway, even if it means learning to be patient with the cleaning. How do you feel about the 7kg weight on the Maria for regular use? Is she pretty enjoyable for lap play? And how do you think you’d feel about the >10kg ones–maybe worth it for sheer immersion factor? I was also looking at the Puni Ana Miracle DX, and it sure is tempting to try that one someday! I watched a video of a guy dildoing it and was practically porn. My god! The Japanese have really outdone themselves with these things.