Review: Big Slut Angel

Product: Big Slut Angel
Manufacturer: XTC Japan
Measurements: length – 23cm, weight – 920g
Retailers: Onahole.com* / MotsuToys*

– This product was provided by MotsuToys for masturbation review purposes
– Retailers marked with * are affiliate links

Awwwwuuuugggh yeah, Slut Angel is back! Bigger, sluttier, perhaps more angelic and definitely the exact same amount of non-Pog form than ever. That’s gre- waaaaait hold on a second, this has nothing to do with the old Slut Angel onahole from Toy’s Heart! It’s not even about season 2 of Panty & Stocking finally being confirmed after several centuries. Pfftt.

Nah. This is XTC Japan’s own version of Slut Angel – or rather the BIG version of it – which is fair enough. Repeat names are bound to happen when every company uses the same random onahole generator. “Teen Virgin… Grandma Gal Whore, perfect! Ship it”.

I never tried their original smaller one, but it seems to have done quite well for them (hence the new bigger version hey). I’m not too surprised though; XTC Japan’s put out a pretty steady stream of quality holes to shoot equally steady streams of cum into over the last year or so.

Time to open the pearly gates then I guess? Haha, vagina.

– Unboxing / Presentation – 

The packaging got a tiiiiny bit crushed on its journey halfway across the world, but that’s alright. Australian customs probably sat on it like usual during their mysterious “oh, it’s being sent to THAT guy” clearance process.

At first I thought the box art character was super tired looking, but maybe she’s blushing? Perhaps both? Who’s to tell angels don’t blush from a critical lack of sleep. It’s a mystery. Either way, cool. Good artwork.

Still no lube included though, RIP. Please XTC Japan, just a drop.

The left nipple looked like it’d had its trademark titty paint pre-sucked right off, but I’d say this is just luck of the draw with minor defects. I was honestly expecting the pink colouring to vanish after a few washes anyway (all good so far though).

Look at that, it’s like something you’d see in a museum titled ‘Le Pússy’s Angelic Garden Dinner Party Delight the Third’. Either that or an Ikea couch. Yeah, Big Slut Angel is a nice looking design. The material is dense and silky smooth with enough heft to likely make a sizable thud if you were to drop it in a library.

But if you’re not too keen on the whole uh, STUMPY look to this torso – good news! You’re free to customise it like an episode of Art Attack.

Perfect.

But what about the HOLE? What about the entire point of this rambling mess?

Here you go, hidden deep between those absolute thunder thighs:

It’s uuuuuUUUHHHH…

– Feeling –

I dunno man, getting inside this onahole is like a long-lost fantasy novel. It’s an absolute fucking journey – a struggle. My god. The thighs guiding you inside immediately transform into some kind of logic puzzle.

Despite being somewhat chunky and rigid, they ALWAYS get in the way no matter what. They’ll awkwardly grip around your shaft in seemingly impossible ways, literally cock-block you or ram against your crotch with their full stump-like stomping powers.

Once (IF?!) you’ve finally sorted things out though, you’re met with a fairly lengthy tunnel with a subtle level of stimulation. There’s a gentle twist on your head at all times – almost like some kind of licking sensation from someone trapped inside a washing machine – which is admittedly kinda nice!

Probably much less traumatic for everyone involved if such a thing were to happen at the local laundromat I reckon.

Those legs though. Bloody hell.

Eveeeery siiiiingle wank I had with Big Slut Angel rapidly went to shit just because they’d keep getting in the way. Frantically rotating the onahole so that one leg would slide against my balls sorta worked in the clumsiest way possible, but a few times there I just gave up, pulled out and finished in a different onahole.

The legs never fucking stay in place and make each stroke a complete gamble, it’s insane. Just imagine these absolute nubs whackin’ around the joint:

Don’t wanna subject yourself to a bit of dick? Fair enough. The showgirl from Parodius then, yeah?

Think of the floor as your crotch.

– Cleaning –

Once I ran this thing under the tap and the leg stumps flicked cum water back into my eyes. I frowned. Big Slut Angel is actively out to get me.

Pretty okay to clean though I suppose. The single-layer tunnel isn’t too complicated so you can flush it out pretty quick. The material also dries quickly and has some really solid durability. XTC Japan are genuinely solid with build quality that feels like it’ll last several lifetimes, and this is no exception.

– Summary –

Honestly I feel like I’m losing my mind being so weirdly annoyed at RUBBER LEGS but… man. I’m sure they were fine with the original smaller version of Slut Angel, but after being struck by Rita Fuckin’ Repulsa’s monster growing wand they’ve just taken on a life of their own.

I can’t tell if either everyone at XTC Japan is hung like a horse – in which case I would like to see – or you’re meant to use this onahole by holding onto both legs at an angle and kinda impaling it down.

Whatever though. Big Slut Angel is easily fixed with a few beers and a pair of scissors.

Real shit, it’s heaps better this way.

I can’t exactly recommend spending $50 USD / €52.45 on an onahole just to mutilate it even further though.

Big Slut Angel

+ The tunnel feels like getting an impossible blowjob from a slow, slightly busted washing machine
+ You can customise the ‘slasher movie victim’ style with whatever accessories you want

– The stumpy legs are absurd and have a relentless vengeance towards incoming penises
– There’s a decent onahole here which is completely fucked by its own design 🙁

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This review product was provided by MotsuToys. Thanks again!