Review: Tantaly’s Mia

Product: Mia
Manufacturer: Tantaly
Measurements: length (vaginal tunnels): 14cm-16cm (anal tunnel): 15cm, weight – 8.7kg (19 lbs)
Retailers: Tantaly

– This product was provided by Tantaly for masturbation review purposes

“Mia? More like… Mamma Mia!” I smugly yell whilst banging down an entire fistful of various knives and forks at the local Italian restaurant which closed down 27 years ago and became a mental asylum.

“That’s a spicy meathole”.

Guards quickly tackle me to the floor as cutlery and cum goes flying, but not before I manage to hit the ‘publish article’ button in a hazy supervillain move to rival that of 2024’s cinematic Marvel arc.

But wow, shit! Here’s Tantaly’s newest big ticket product – Mia. They claim it’s ‘the world’s first torso doll with removable vagina’, which I mean, maybe? Sure? Technically you could remove the vagina from any torso doll with a pair of scissors and your name on the list of several government agencies, but this one is probably a bit easier.

By default it includes three different swappable vaginas (trade ’em with your friends) which vary on their stimulation. The hip also includes an asshole you can fuck, although that option is permanently built-in. A real load baring tunnel if you know what I mean.

Haha, it’s for cum.

– Unboxing / Presentation – 

I didn’t actually take a proper photo of the packaging for some reason, but it’s very basic. Just a big ol’ black box with roughly 70 jabillion words printed on all sides about what sort of space exploration research went into creating a sex toy. It’s fine!

I’m actually kinda thankful, because Australian customs held onto this for quite a while. Not sure what the hell they were doin’, but I’d like to imagine they finally opened the box, saw all the boring stuff printed on it and immediately had a big nap for like two fuckin’ weeks.

Inside you’ll find Mia already equipped with the ‘super stimulating’ vagina. There’s also a ‘suitable for beginners’ one and a ‘regular experience’ in their own fancy boxes. No lube included, but there’s a nice product catalogue you can flick through while on a toilet world tour or whatever.

Tantaly have used some brand new arse technology with Mia, which they dub ‘Tantabutt’. Look that word up in a Webster’s Dictionary from 1957 and you will absolutely waste several thrilling minutes potentially inhaling dust.

It’s meant to make the cheeks softer and jiggle a bit more than usual, and yes! They’re pretty jelly-ish, though nowhere near what their promotional videos would suggest. I’m absolutely blown away by the detail however! Get up real close and the material has some absurdly impressive texture work.

This part looks incredible too! But what if you were to turn it into a really expensive Stretch Armstrong?

Just a perfectly normal sexual activity.

 

This thing REALLY grips onto its swappable vaginas, which is a good thing in the sense they won’t flop around in there – but jamming them inside feels like trying to complete a Rubik’s Cube in a bucket of mud. You wouldn’t wanna be changing these around mid-fuck for whatever reason.

A terrifying void remains, but another perk of this product is you could shove all sorts of onaholes in there. You’ll be limited by their width, but Mia opens up a lot of options to get even tighter stimulation from your existing wank tube collection.

“Daily Horoscope: You will find love in a rubber torso blob with many, many wrinkles on its leg stumps.”

So how can you tell the difference between the three of these things? With your penis, mostly. You could probably put different banana stickers on them or something (prompting good banana-related health), but thankfully just a quick finger inside will instantly reveal the secrets of each one.

The onaholes hey, probably not the bananas.

– Feeling –

This is the first four-in-one multicart experience I’ve covered on this blog, so please bear with with me!

Super stimulating: This is the onahole you’ll already find wedged inside Mia right out of the box, so this is clearly what Tantaly’s most proud of here. AND THEY BLOODY WELL SHOULD BE. This one is legitimately stupid incredible, jesus.

The tunnel is lined with extremely chunky nubs that’ll absolutely smash the shit out of your head with some intense grinding. It’s tight and the stimulation is pretty relentless, yet in a weird ‘not too overwhelming’ way. Edging with this one is fantastic and I always feel like a certain percentage of my soul vanishes every time I’ve violently cum into the end chamber.

There’s nothing left, please help.

Regular experience: This one seems to have the best suction to it, with some fairly mild stimulation in the form of various jagged bumps.

The mid-section has some decent squeeze, but for the most part this is probably the best option to wank with while completely distracted by a YouTube video about late 80’s video devices with brittle ribbon cables or something. Techmoan indeed.

Decent feedback, but a big step down if you’ve already fucked the ‘super stimulating’ hole.

Suitable for beginners: Look, real shit – I could barely process this. My cock has basically developed several layers of armour over the years to the point where this onahole doesn’t feel like anything. I’m sweatin’, man. There was barely enough here to even maintain an erection.

I’m having several mid-life crisis moments compressed into a single lack of orgasm. I genuinely couldn’t finish with this and had to swap back over to the ‘super stimulating’ tube. What have I become?!

Despair.

But yeah I dunno, it’s pretty smooth and has the most open end chamber (FOR CUM).

Anus: Welcome to the anus zone. Again, this tunnel is built into the torso like a… well, traditional sex toy I guess. Exactly like Snail Maze being included with the Master System – right down to the tight level design and unforgiving time limit.

Popping into the entrance is super satisfying, but those textures running all the way down mostly just consist of light ribbing and little else. Pretty repetitive stuff and sadly lacks any real punch. I found that teasing my head around the entrance made for some fun variation from pounding away at the vagina, but there’s not really enough here to focus on.

Plus uh, the major selling point of this entire concept is that you don’t need to lug the entire thing over to your sink to flush out after use, but if you cum up the arse then that’s exactly what you’ll have to do.

– Cleaning –

Just yank the vagina out and wash it like a normal onahole – easy as hell – and by far the coolest aspect of Mia.

You’ll wanna wipe down the hip if you’ve made an extra impressive mess or somehow spilt an entire bottle of mustard all over the material in some sort of hot dog delima, but keeping this thing clean is typically a breeze.

The anal tunnel is a pain in the arse to clean by comparison since it’s built-in, but hey.

What a weird promo image. “How delightful, miss. I am brushing the sausage and egg McMuffin dust off your big vagina today”.

– Summary –

Tantaly’s got something special here for sure. The Mia torso itself is extremely high quality. It looks great, has some futuristic arse cheek technology and feels like it’d survive being run over by a tank with explosives strapped to its treads.

Granted, these are all very specific traits you’d maybe expect from something that costs over three hundred fucking dollars, yet sure enough they’re all here in full force!

The three included vaginas are a tad unbalanced though. They clearly want you to experience the ‘super stimulating’ one first and it’s by FAR the best option. The other two can’t even compare.

Like bloody hell, Tantaly – you should absolutely be selling this as a standalone onahole. It feels just as good on its own.

It’s my good friend Super Stimbo.

That non-removable anal tunnel is also weirdly just… not what you’d really expect? It feels like they put the least amount of effort into the design of this one while somehow being the least tight option. This should be cutting your cock like a Cuban cigar, man.

Oh well. The main thing with Mia is offering a torso experience with minimal maintenance, and you can essentially future-proof your erections by shoving all sorts of other onaholes inside it.

Mia

+ The hip itself is incredibly well designed. Excellent visual detail and dense material that offers a nice little silky bounce
+ Being able to remove the vagina(s) makes this MUCH easier to clean compared to similar products
+ You can use your own onaholes inside it (although options are limited to thinner designs)
+ The ‘super stimulating’ hole is near god-tier

– Those other two included vaginas aren’t particularly remarkable
– Anal tunnel has a fantastic entry point, but ultimately feels half-arsed
– The asking price ($320 USD at the time of wanking) is rough as hell, putting it just short of considerably bigger and heavier full torso products from Tantaly like the Britney.

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This review product was provided by Tantaly. Thanks again!