Thanks, Sweden!

This article’s absolutely just me stroking my own dick in the egotistical sense rather than the uh, orgo… testicle sense? But fuck it – I just got voted for best English-language sex toy reviews by Swedish publication Passionerad, and that’s the kind of sentence you only ever get to type maybe once in a lifetime! Twice if you accidentally copy and paste it.

But yeah, Passionerad recently ran a survey asking their email subscribers what their favourite English review sites were. Over 3,000 responses later and it turns out I came! Out on top! Wild.

There’s a lot of really big name sites that provide much more consistent content and don’t look like they were bolted together with a bare bones WordPress theme that takes forever to load, so I’m really honoured here, holy crap.

Huge thanks to Axel over at Passionerad for putting these fancy graphs together and translating the results.

Those participating in the survey were also asked to explain their reasoning and man. I’m gonna include a few here (don’t worry they’re all completely anonymous), but reading this stuff has genuinely made my day/week/year.

“To be honest, I didn’t know what onaholes was before finding Infernal Monkey. I found it when I was just Googling around for a great sex toy reviews website and I’ve been stuck ever since. I have actually gotten into onaholes thanks to his guide. Before I found Infernal Monkey, I just used a regular Pocket Pussys, so thanks for letting people like me discover new toys.”

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“I once followed many sex blogs but I soon stopped following them one by one. Except for one blog; Infernal Monkey. I read him as a normal blog and I actually learn a lot, both about the toys he’s reviewing (of course) but also about other things like masturbating and so on. In some way he feels like a friend of mine even though I have never spoken to him.”

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“We need more people like Lance in the sex toy reviews niche. He is really inspiring and it’s amazing how long he’s continuously been updating his blog. I visit it every now and then and always have a great read. I also like how integrating Lance is with his readers (based on how he’s writing and how he very often answers comments and questions readers have).”

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“Infernal Monkey writes very helpful with a big touch of humor. His guides have guided me through the jungle of onaholes. Without him, I’m sure it would have taken much longer to find the perfect sex toy for me (which’s Back Girl).”

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“Infernal Monkey is like a combination between a blog about onaholes and this dude’s life (since he’s not just writing about the toys but also lets things from his private life slide in
sometimes.). This makes it very nice to follow the blog no matter if you are interested in buying an onahole or just want to feel like a part of his community (his readers are quite active and you can easily interact with them.)”

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“My motivation is that a) Infernal Monkey has updated for years and is still going strong b) the blog attaches very detailed pictures of what the products really looks like c) he writes in a simple and everyday language that’s personal which makes it interesting to read.”

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“I have many friends along with me that read Infernal Monkey, or at least have read it before. I’m not sure how we found it, but I think it spread in Discord groups and on Reddit.
The language was easy to understand and the niche speaked to me since I had just started watching manga.”

Thanks, everyone! :’)

Sorry this year has been so light on content so far. Things have been not great! I’m hoping to fully get back into the swing of things eventually, but the next few weeks are gonna continue to be dodgy. Got hit with a completely unaffordable rent increase so I’ll be moving to a new place… soon? Hopefully? The rental market is a bit fucked.

All else fails I’ve got a tent to pitch a tent in. I’ll try to get some drafts wrapped up in the next few days at the very least though. Cheers!

Hey, thanks for reading! Feel free to follow me on Twitter for more onahole stuff. Or if you’re feeling extra generous, please consider donating to my PayPal. I’d greatly appreciate it. Your support keeps my penis alive (inside new and interesting onaholes!)