Update (April 28th): Still around. I think? My apologies. Things got considerably worse since this initial blog post and it’s been a constant downward spiral physically and mentally. Hoping to have a proper update thing eventually, but yeah nah, didn’t off myself. Sorry again.
Hey mates, sorry! This is probably the least ideal way to kick off any sign of life on this blog in 2024, but I’ve recently had an extremely bad experience with some novelty armpit scented lube of all things.
You never know what’s going to take you down, right?! Ideally it’d be something cooler than a fuckin’ bottle of anime armpit sex toy lubricant, but whatever.
Essentially my balls and the head of my dick are completely trashed at the moment. Chemical burn from some hyper rare allergic reaction which has descended into infection. I’ve never had so many medical professionals prod at my balls and go “hmm” over the past week. Good times, great classic hits.
Absolutely miserable stuff. Just trying to walk is like being repeatedly smashed in the crotch with a large leg of ham every time my junk rubs against fabric. Tryin’ to stay positive though; I’ve been reassured it’ll heal up just fine (and everything still WORKS thankfully), but it could take several weeks before there’s any major improvement.
WEEKS OF WALKIN’ AROUND LOOKIN’ LIKE I’VE JUST SHIT MY PANTS WITH 17 BRICKS.
I’ll probably write up an entire ‘review’ for the lube maybe soon. Expect a 10/10 score even though I never give review scores for anything. It’s just that good.
YOU >:(
In the meantime I’ve got uuuuhhhhhh smell fetish stuff I could probably write about, and some mostly finished drafts where I could use my imagination to remind myself how the onaholes felt. I cannot masturbate. It’s torture. I’m going to lose it bro.
SEE YOU SOON <3
Hey, thanks for reading! Feel free to follow me on Twitter for more onahole stuff. Or if you’re feeling extra generous, please consider donating to my PayPal. I’d greatly appreciate it. Your support keeps my penis alive (inside new and interesting onaholes!) I tend to copy and paste that exact bit at the end of every article but it doesn’t apply here because my penis is a bit dead. It’s funny though!
expecting a great ona video to welcome u back from ur abstinence lmao
There’s gonna be a FLOOD.
Maybe some new hire at the scented lube/ battery acid factory got his hoses confused on the line, and spiked your bottle with some liquid suprise. Hope you recover soon, and at least you got one hell of a story to tell the grandkids one day.
“Armpit? I thought you meant arsenic!”
i’ll rub one out in your honor goat
Thank you, balls emptier!
Oh god; chemical castration! Part of me is being mature and like- it’ll be good for him to have a break but then I’m also like- no man should have to suffer so. Stay strong!
that fucking sucks but im sure your dick will come back stronger and harder then ever before and will unleash an eruption when you get back to wanking
What a way to begin the year! I wish you, and your genitals, health and prosperity in the future.
I had a similar experience, was fucking some homemade holes. Dickhead was irritated and the skin on the head starting flaking or something. Like a whole month of painful masturbation and underwear pain session during college classes. I clean it regularly, toughing out the pain and taking out the weird flaky stuff my pp started creating. Had a weaker version of the same experience recently but for less time, maybe my pp has evolved stronger? Anyways, wish u a fast recovery and I can’t wait for more reviews on weird new things.
This shit’s one of my worst fears, stay strong king 👑
bricked up outrageously
I would’ve said something like “thoughts and prayers” but I doubt God would respond to “Please fix this Australian man’s penis, amen.”
Best of luck to you!
Damn, what a way to start the year off with 🙁
Hope you’ll have a speedy recovery!
I tried to pretty myself up with some nair for my boyfriend a week or so ago and that resulted in a bad chemical burn on my inner thigh, so I’m right there with you, bud. Get well soon!
That one does smell good. Did you try the onahole it’s meant to go with?
That’s brutal, I’m so damn sorry. Hang in there, it will get better with time. And honestly… if it helps at all, cold comfort that it may be, documenting your experience like this might help others who wind up in similar predicaments to get through own struggle — you said in your thread that this is a rare and poorly-understood reaction, so you are in the position to shine more light on it and drag it out of the dregs of reddit thread obscurity. Even in your worst moment, you have an opportunity to help others with your words… so it is a cold comfort, especially given your misery, the fact that you didn’t ask to be in this position in the first place. But I hope this knowledge is, at least, some form of comfort as you endure all of this.
You’re worth waiting for, so take all the time you need to recover and return, Lance. Wishing you all the best.
Wishing you all the best. Cheers Felix from World of Onahole Shop.
Oh shit I was wondering why you stopped writing reviews, hope your poor dick gets better soon !
Hope you’re okay, dude
I hope you’re okay man
I hope you’re well
My first time buying an onahole
https://www.amazon.es/GXP-Held-Catman-Onahole-Masturbador/dp/B0CDXSTVL2/ref=zg_m_bs_g_11659360031_m_sccl_7/259-9934975-0877912?psc=1
It’s still on the way, do you think it’s good?
How’s your penis?
RIP.
Can’t believe you ended this way.
My condolences to his family and friends. A great guy gone too soon.
I don’t care who you are, suicide is a coward’s way out.
what a loser
Ashamed to be a follower of this website. Killing himself? Really? Let God judge him as the weakling he is and be burdened with the consequence of hell for the rest of eternity!!!
my tits are saggy
oh no
bro anyone can fake an account