As the onahole industry continues to mature into something that’ll one day be narrated by David Attenborough’s penis on the BBC, I think we’re starting to see a much greater focus on having actual quality box art. Quality tits.
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Onahole shopping in Japan
This is kind of incredibly late considering it’s been two months since stumbling around the streets of Japan on holiday, but I was going through my photos recently and there he was. Obama-kun. With his world famous catchphrase and everything. Turns out that was exactly the inspiration I needed to not get off my arse and write about all these tourist attractions.
I went to Takarajima 24, an onahole internet cafe
Internet cafes where you’re actually encouraged to have a wank? Sure, why not.
I had absolutely no clue at first though. Hopping off at various train stations dotted around Tokyo, it felt like I kept seeing the same jerk hanging off a clock. He’d almost always be somewhere close by, showing total disregard for the fine craftsmanship of precision timing.
Taking a chance with the SEXY BOX mystery
So how about them gashapon machines, huh? Stumbling into a random Japanese department store and seeing huge clusters of them lined up – or sometimes entire shops that exist purely to trap small children in their maze-like structure of capsule toy dispensing death traps – yeah man, pretty much a tourist attraction all by itself.
[Japan Adult Expo 2014 – Take notes, Sexpo
It’s been a big year for sticky-finger conventions in Japan, with not one, not seven, but two adult expos making their debut in 2014. ‘Pink Tokyo‘ kicked things off in February with its promise to “invigorate adults and energize Japan” by conveniently cramming every basement-level shopping experience under one roof. Now just last weekend (November 14-15) the ‘Japan Adult Expo’ opened its doors for the first time. Probably some cheap joke to be had there.
Why yes, onahole vending machines are a thing
From a vending machine-crazed country historically famous for putting creamed corn right next to very similar looking cans of lemon drink to create the ultimate flavour gamble, being able to buy an onahole from one really isn’t that surprising.
Trade trash for Tenga at Japanese beach clean up
Taking that ‘feel good’ incentive of cleaning up the environment to a whole new level, Japanese group Umi Sakura held their first ever adults-only trash pick up event over the weekend (September 27th). Volunteers were rewarded for putting their hands on someone else’s junk for a change with yup, onaholes.
