News and features

MotsuToys and Onahole.com kick off their Horny Halloween campaign

October 24, 2024 by Infernal Monkey

It’s October 31st and you’ve found yourself somehow wandering around an Ikea store for their annual Halloween escape room extravaganza.

Review: Absolute hell

September 4, 2024August 11, 2024 by Infernal Monkey

Hello! I’ve had to completely rewrite this multiple times over the past few months as the situation kept changing, so it might be a bit messy. My apologies for eventually just vanishing for like half a bloody year, but at some point that’s pretty much the only way I could deal with things. Falling off the planet and hyper isolating; it’s a winning combination.

Temporarily incapacitated :( (Updated)

May 3, 2024February 9, 2024 by Infernal Monkey

Update (April 28th): Still around. I think? My apologies. Things got considerably worse since this initial blog post and it’s been a constant downward spiral physically and mentally. Hoping to have a proper update thing eventually, but yeah nah, didn’t off myself. Sorry again.

TEN YEARS?!

December 21, 2023 by Infernal Monkey

In a somewhat gloriously tragic moment back in December 2013, I shot a load inside a cheapo Monster Hunter parody onahole and thought it’d be funny to write a stupid joke review of it for an audience of maybe like five people on Facebook.

25% off storewide at Onahole.com and MotsuToys

November 25, 2023November 20, 2023 by Infernal Monkey

Black Friday sales have officially kicked off in the mysterious rubber cum hole world this year, with Europe’s MotsuToys and their American branch Onahole.com both offering 25% off storewide with the coupon code ‘BF2023‘.

Get a free onahole from MotsuToys (EU) or Onahole.com (US)!

November 3, 2023 by Infernal Monkey

What could possibly be better than a free onahole? Eight hundred billion dollars? Something scanning up cheaper than the price sticker at the supermarket whilst the self-checkout machine confusingly gives you head? Yes, exactly! We’ve sure solved that mystery.

Thanks, Sweden!

August 24, 2023 by Infernal Monkey

This article’s absolutely just me stroking my own dick in the egotistical sense rather than the uh, orgo… testicle sense? But fuck it – I just got voted for best English-language sex toy reviews by Swedish publication Passionerad, and that’s the kind of sentence you only ever get to type maybe once in a lifetime! Twice if you accidentally copy and paste it.