Product: Onaho of the Round Table
Manufacturer: XTC Japan
Measurements: length – various (!), weight – 3.7kg (8.16 lbs)
Retailers: MotsuToys* (EU) / Onahole.com* (US)
Infernal Monkey
Review: Pretty After School JK
Product: Pretty After School JK
Manufacturer: XTC Japan
Measurements: length – 14cm, weight – 360g
Retailers: MotsuToys* (EU) / Onahole.com* (US)
Review: Absolute hell
Hello! I’ve had to completely rewrite this multiple times over the past few months as the situation kept changing, so it might be a bit messy. My apologies for eventually just vanishing for like half a bloody year, but at some point that’s pretty much the only way I could deal with things. Falling off the planet and hyper isolating; it’s a winning combination.
Temporarily incapacitated :( (Updated)
Update (April 28th): Still around. I think? My apologies. Things got considerably worse since this initial blog post and it’s been a constant downward spiral physically and mentally. Hoping to have a proper update thing eventually, but yeah nah, didn’t off myself. Sorry again.
TEN YEARS?!
In a somewhat gloriously tragic moment back in December 2013, I shot a load inside a cheapo Monster Hunter parody onahole and thought it’d be funny to write a stupid joke review of it for an audience of maybe like five people on Facebook.
Review: Urethral Fuck Twist Otokonoko
Product: Urethral Fuck Twist Otokonoko
Manufacturer: XTC Japan
Measurements: length – 16cm, weight – 360g
Retailers: MotsuToys* / Onahole.com*
25% off storewide at Onahole.com and MotsuToys
Black Friday sales have officially kicked off in the mysterious rubber cum hole world this year, with Europe’s MotsuToys and their American branch Onahole.com both offering 25% off storewide with the coupon code ‘BF2023‘.
Get a free onahole from MotsuToys (EU) or Onahole.com (US)!
What could possibly be better than a free onahole? Eight hundred billion dollars? Something scanning up cheaper than the price sticker at the supermarket whilst the self-checkout machine confusingly gives you head? Yes, exactly! We’ve sure solved that mystery.
Review: Nezuko’s Double Tooth Blowjob
Product: Nezuko’s Double Tooth Blowjob
Manufacturer: Seiraku Toys
Measurements: length – 17cm, weight – 640g
Retailers: MotsuToys* / Onahole.com*
Thanks, Sweden!
This article’s absolutely just me stroking my own dick in the egotistical sense rather than the uh, orgo… testicle sense? But fuck it – I just got voted for best English-language sex toy reviews by Swedish publication Passionerad, and that’s the kind of sentence you only ever get to type maybe once in a lifetime! Twice if you accidentally copy and paste it.